Reading through Half-Blood Prince this time around, of course I had my "Snape glasses" on all the time, looking...well, not so much for clues really, not this time. I think we've heard most of the legitimate clues, which could go either way, bandied about by now. I think this time around I was trying to get a more intuitive feel for an answer to the question of his ultimate loyalties. What do I really think, at heart, about his character?
And I'm still convinced he's on the right side, no matter how odious and obnoxious his behavior through the years. I just can't prove it. :-)
A couple of things did jump out at me though. Besides the linguistic connection between Harry's emotions as he force-fed Dumbledore the potion in the cave, and Snape's emotions right before he AK'd Dumbledore on the tower (both described in terms of "hatred" and "revulsion" -- thanks to Janet Batchler's book for a great explication of that connection) I noticed a couple of other things.
One that has always struck me, from my very first read through, is how Harry describes Snape when he's talking with everyone up in the hospital wing, and telling them what happened on the tower. He says that Snape shouted "It's over," and adds that Snape had done what he meant to do. That language has always struck me as language connected to the language of Jesus on the cross ("It is finished"). It seems to cement the possibility that the road that Snape is walking here, though the road is not clear to us, is one not just of suffering (which is clear because of the way Rowling describes his pain in the final confrontation with Harry; she likens it to the pain of the dog trapped in the burning house) but *redemptive suffering.* At least I hope that's where she's going with it.
The other line that jumped out at me: when Harry is speaking with Hermione and Ron about his going after Voldemort, and then adds, somewhat grimly, that if he happens to run into Snape along the way "so much the better for me, so much the worse for him." That line gives me chills, because I think it quite possible that Rowling has Harry speaking almost prophetic words here, words he intends one way but that actually mean something far deeper. It's quite possible that running into Snape will be 'better' for Harry, if Snape has indeed let himself be placed in a position where he can actually help Harry conquer Voldemort. And yet, if that's so, I can't imagine Snape coming out of it unscathed...so much the "worse" for him...I think he may well have to give his life in the end.
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I can definitely see the biblical connection at the end of that scene. And Harry's comment about Snape... Orson Scott Card said something in his essay about how he can't see Snape surviving the series, and I can see his point; if he helped Harry bring down Voldemort, where would he go from there? It would be great if he could get a new lease on life, just sort of start over, but he's got so much baggage that's going to be really hard to manage. I imagine that helping Harry at this stage would be pretty hard for him, since he may be on Dumbledore's side but he still can't stand Harry. Could take a lot out of him...
I just can't shake the feeling that Snape must have loved Lily. I know the evidence in canon is thin, but it sure seems possible, and it would help make so much sense out of everything else. Including, perhaps, Snape's hatred of Harry -- he's got his mother's eyes, but he looks just like that awful James, who won the girl in the end.
I mean, we don't know WHY the particular memory he puts in the pensieve is termed Snape's worst memory. If he had such a long-running feud with the Marauders, then this was likely only one of many instances where they butted heads or where they hurt or humiliated each other (remember Snape does attempt to do sectumsempra on James before James retaliates with the much more harmless spell of levicorpus). You would think other memories might be worse, like Snape's narrow escape from werewolf Lupin (when James repented of the prank and tried to save him). Was this memory so bad because he humiliated *in front of Lily*? And because he lashed out at her in such mean, vindictive language, even when she tried to stand up for him? Oh questions, questions...
If Snape does save Harry, I think it will exhaust him fully -- but I so want Harry to recognize and forgive Snape for everything before Severus dies.
It strikes me that within just a few weeks, there are certain scenes in the first six books we will never be able to read the same way again...because we'll know the end of the story. I think I've got some profound thoughts about life and reality buried in that observation somewhere, if I can just figure out where... ;-)
Maybe the reason the scene was so painful for him was because it marked an end to his friendship with Lily? Hermione and Ron have survived some pretty nasty spats with each other, but the dynamics of Snape's and Lily's relationship would have been different; I doubt she would have held his verbal lashing against her forever, but Snape might not have been able to swallow his pride and repair their relationship, especially after she started going out with James...
I know what you mean about not being able to read things the same way. I'm glad we've done this blog for the past several months; it's neat to speculate while we still can, and it will be interesting to go back and read our thoughts after it's all said and done...
Oh me too. Meaning "me too -- I'm glad we've done this blog." I know we've both been busy at times, but it's really helped me to focus on re-reading and thinking thoughtfully, or at least somewhat thoughtfully, as I re-read. Thanks for jumping in on the blog venture with me!
Now that's an even more interesting twist than I'd thought of before: that the episode might have marked the end of a friendship between Snape and Lily. It's a bit hard to imagine such a friendship growing in the light of day, given the animosity between Slytherin and Gryffindor. Nobody ever crosses the Great Hall from those house tables to talk to each other (I mean from S & G houses, you do have instances of companionable conversation between some of the other houses, like when Luna wanders over wearing her Lion hat.)
But it's fun to speculate on ways Snape and Lily might have gotten to know each other and fostered a kind of friendship. Admiring each other's abilities in Slughorn's class? Competing in a friendly (though perhaps with a bit of an edge to it) way for top honors in that class? Hanging back to talk to each other afterwards? Perhaps even hanging out sometimes at the Slug Club?
It's clear that Lily Evans was very much her own person. She didn't just fall at the feet of every popular guy in her own house (witness James) and she spoke her mind about matters that meant something to her. I wish we knew more though....maybe we will soon!
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